I belong to a gym in suburban Cincinnati. Over this past summer, the gym ran a 3-month membership special for college students. It was a good deal, apparently. My gym was overrun with baby-faced, tattooed moppets from June through August.
I have nothing against our youngest generation of adults. Except for one thing: they all become catatonic when staring at their cell phone screens.
I have nothing against cell phones, either. I carry one with me just about everywhere I go.
But most of the time, it’s in my pocket.
Not the Gen Zs, however. Everyone born after 1995 seems unable to function unless the cell phone is constantly in hand. Sometimes they appear to be texting. Most of the time, though, they are simply scrolling through the screen. (Waiting for a text, perhaps?)
But what does an old man like me care about such things? The problem is that in a gym, Gen Zs take twice as long as everyone else, because they park themselves on exercise machines, immerse themselves in their phones, and tune out the rest of the world.
I will also note that Gen Z males are worse about this than Gen Z females. (I suspect that these young guys are looking at young women on social media, or desperately hoping that a young woman will text them.)
The other day I was in my gym, waiting while a 21-ish young man sat on the shoulder press machine, scrolling through his cell phone.
He didn’t do this for just a few minutes, either. He was doing this for five minutes straight. And I needed to use the machine.
Finally, I’d had enough. I walked up to him, got his attention, and said: “Excuse me.”
He gave me a terrified look in return. (That’s another thing I’ve noticed about all members of Gen Z, of both sexes. They are absolutely terrified when compelled to talk to anyone in person. They are scared enough of each other. But they are paralyzed by panic when forced to talk with an unfamiliar older adult.)
The youth still did not speak. But he did at least look at me.
“Would it be okay if I use the machine while you check social media?” I asked.
There was some obvious sarcasm in my question. But this is yet one more thing I’ve noticed about young adults nowadays. They are oblivious to irony.
And this young adult was still incapable of actual speech. He did, however, jump off the shoulder press machine, scurry over to the nearest corner of the room, and…spend at least another five minutes scrolling through the screen of his phone.
I don’t know if the hoped-for girl ever texted him. But I was content. I got to use the shoulder press machine.
-ET